How to Be a Better Networker As an Introvert
Many people say they can't network because they are introverts. Yet a lot of successful professionals are introverts. Did you know Barak Obama is an introvert? He was successful in politics, where networking is key. Bill Gates is also an introvert. Yet he built a successful company and now focuses on humanitarian work across the globe. Both have been successful in occupations where networking is a necessity. So as introverts, how could they have been successful?
Because being a good networker and being an introvert are not mutually exclusive.
Even if you are an introvert, you can learn how to be a good networker.
I'll show you how.
The words “introversion” and “shyness” with unequal sign.
Introversion Is Not Shyness
Since we are talking about introversion, let's get our terms straight. Introverts can also be shy, but they do not have to be. Introverts get their energy from inward activities, like thinking. They need time to think and process information before responding. That is why introverts can find traditional networking opportunities like professional events challenging. These events have a lot of external stimulation that introverts can find draining, and the need to be quick-witted and proactive in talking with people is taxing.
Shyness is a bit different. Shyness is more about social anxiety and the fear of being shunned or made uncomfortable in social situations. Introverts do not get their energy from socializing, but they are not fearful of social interaction.
First, Set Reasonable Expectations
As a career coach, I will always encourage my clients to network. Networking helps job seekers discover opportunities and potentially get an advantage over those who solely apply via job boards.
An excellent first step for anyone networking, but especially for introverts, is to understand your goal(s) and set the ground rules that meet your comfort level.
What Is Your Overall Goal?
Before starting any networking activity, first, understand your goal for this activity. You could have several, but knowing your purpose will help you determine the right networking activities to do.
Goals could be as follows…
Get your name known by as many people as possible
Gather information
Build relationships with individuals at your target companies
Become a thought leader
Make new friends
Give or provide advice
Get your resume distributed
Help others out
Quality Over Quantity
Since networking can be draining for introverts, the focus should be on quality and not quantity. There is no need to go to an event and try to meet everyone in the room or contact all attendees of a virtual event. It is wise to pick one or two people you would like to get to know and solely focus on them. It will make you more comfortable, and it will be less daunting for you to do this.
Avoid Self-Criticism about Your Networking Abilities
It is okay if you are not a natural networker. Many people are not, and with networking, it is not a requirement. All you have to bring to networking activities is an interest in others. That, in my experience, is the true key to networking success. So if you start out a bit tongue-tied and nervous, not knowing precisely the right thing to say, that is fine. You are trying something a bit out of your comfort zone, and like with many new things, you won't start at an expert level. But with practice, you will get better.
Focus On Helping Others
Many people dislike what they perceive as the transactional nature of networking—doing it to try to get something from the other person. I challenge you to approach networking with a different point of view. Instead, approach it with an "I want to be of service" mindset. If your outreach involves a genuine attempt to help and support others, you might feel more enthusiastic about doing it. Helping others can be in many ways.
Provide an introduction to someone that might like to meet
Share information that you think might be helpful
Offer to support them with a project or endeavor important to them
Give feedback on something they published
When you help others, you will feel good about the experience. And people whom you offer to help will remember you in a positive light, even if they do not take you up on your offer.
Listening Is Your Superpower
Introverts have a great superpower when it comes to networking. They are often great listeners. They talk less and spend more time listening. They want to hear what the other person has to say so they can process it and then know how to respond appropriately. In networking conversations, the listener focuses on the talker. The talker appreciates the deep attention that an introvert may give, which can be a great way to build rapport.
Speaker with microphone in from of seated people
In-Person Networking
Slowly, in-person events are starting to return after a hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic. So if you see an in-person event that you would like to attend, here is advice that can be helpful for those that are introverted.
Bring a Friend or Colleague
You do not have to go to an event by yourself. If being solo makes you uncomfortable, ask someone to come along. It is beneficial if that person is comfortable talking to people they do not know since they can start conversations and bring you in, thus eliminating the awkwardness of going up to a stranger and introducing yourself. Even if it is a fellow introvert, knowing that you will not be standing alone may bring you more confidence. Plus, this person can help you identify people to speak with and hold you accountable for talking to people.
Arrive Early
Yes, arriving early to an event is a better strategy than coming later, after everyone has arrived. Why? It will be easier to speak with people. You will have more opportunities to talk with the event organizers, always crucial people to know. Also, with fewer people there, the organizers may be gracious enough to introduce you to others, especially if you are a first-time attendee. Other people may also be in the same predicament of not knowing anyone there at that time, so they may be more receptive to speaking with you. It may be harder to catch them alone later in the event when friends and acquaintances have arrived.
Have a Few Ice Breaking Questions Ready
You see someone across the room walk toward you, but you become paralyzed because you do not know what to say. To avoid this, have a few ice-breaking questions ready to help you ease into a conversation. Plus, once people start talking, it is easier to know what follow-up questions to ask to keep the conversation moving.
Great questions to ask are the following…
What brought you here today?
Are you part of this organization? If so, for how long?
What has been the best part of your day thus far, or how has your day been?
Do you have a goal for attending this event, and can I help?
Have you tried the X? It is delicious (if you are eating)
Where do you work?
What do you do?
Who else do you know here?
Set an Intention for the Event
How will you judge if the event has been successful for you? Set up a reasonable objective ahead of time. Maybe it is having a lengthier conversation with two new people. Or it could be to talk with the event organizer. Or it could be to speak with someone at a particular company or in a specific industry. Whatever is right for your networking goals, figure out what you want to get out of the event. Once you have achieved your intention, feel free to leave.
Or Set a Time Limit
Don't feel that you have to stay for the entire event. Set a reasonable time limit, maybe one hour for a two-hour event. Then when the hour is up, you can leave with no guilt. You can choose to stay longer, but you set up rules that will work for you. Setting a time limit helps you use your time efficiently and lets you leave an event feeling less drained.
Volunteer at the Event
Many in-person events will need volunteers to help make them a success. They may need people to work at a registration desk, do set-up or clean-up, and even be greeters. If you are introverted, having a job to do at the event may make you more comfortable. Plus, as a result of your duties, you will potentially have the opportunity to meet more people.
Create Your Own Event
If going to a large event makes you uncomfortable, create your own smaller event where you have more control over who attends and how the event will work. You can have small group meetings around different interest areas, where you can choose the people (perhaps a mix of people you know well, are acquaintances, and do not know at all) and the format and length of the event. This type of event may also get more attendance from fellow introverts.
Six people on computert screen
Virtual Networking
Virtual networking will continue to play a role in how people meet each other. Virtual networking includes reaching out to people you have learned about by finding them through an internet search, LinkedIn or social media, or friends and colleagues. Virtual networking also includes the one-on-one conversations that take place via applications like Zoom. There is also the opportunity to attend virtual events, be it a LinkedIn Live, meeting, or conference.
Here are some strategies for introverts when virtual networking.
Strategize Your Networking
It is good to have a strategy for your online networking. Since you should have already thought about your goals, you want to align your strategy with the goal. Do you want to network with people at your targeted companies? Are you trying to obtain informational interviews? Are you moving and want to grow a network in your new location? To play to your strength of thinking first and then doing, figure out your virtual networking strategy's who, how, and when.
Create Robust Social Media Profiles to Bring People to You
Your social media profiles will be what people first look at to decide whether they want to start a conversation online. Therefore, ensure that your social media profiles are complete and feature information that helps people understand who you are and what you do (or want to do). This means making sure each profile has a good picture of you. Your photo should be well-lit and focused on you (no group shots).
While people often think about their LinkedIn profiles, do not neglect your profiles on other social media sites. The people you want to network with might be more active on Twitter, Instagram, or TikTok.
Start a Blog, Newsletter, Podcast, or YouTube Channel
While this advice is not for everyone, you can put out content in your areas of expertise. As an introvert, you will have time to think about what you want to say, and it can help you attract people that appreciate your knowledge and point of view. If you like to write, think about creating a blog or newsletter. Many introverts are more comfortable with one-on-one conversations. If that is the case, you might want to start a podcast where you can ask scripted questions of people and engage in a deeper conversation. And if you do not mind being on video, you could produce short videos where you talk about a topic of interest. The sky's the limit. But through all of these avenues, you control the process and will attract people interested in engaging with you.
Get Introductions
It is easier to start a conversation with someone you do not know when you have formally been introduced to the individual. If there is someone that you would like to speak with, but the idea of a cold outreach makes you uncomfortable, see if there is anyone in your network that might be able to make an introduction. That go-between can pave the way for the other person to be receptive to having a conversation with you and even introduce the purpose for the reach-out, making it easier if one of your goals is to get some help from the individual.
Conclusion
In today's business world, networking is a must if you want to keep your career moving forward. Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't be a good networker. You may have to approach it differently than your extroverted friends and colleagues. With these tips, you can become more at ease with networking and have techniques to make you effective.
For additional information on networking, you may be interested in How to Effectively Do Networking Follow-Up.
Shelley Piedmont is a job search coach. She wants to help job seekers put their best foot forward by providing the tools for a successful job search. If you need career coaching, resume preparation, interview skills assessment, or LinkedIn profile assistance, she can help. Schedule a 15-minute no-obligation consultation.