How to Handle a Bad Job Interview Experience
Woman in blue blazer with thought bubble, “What just happened?”
You have researched the company, practiced answering questions, and prepared great questions to ask. You are ready to make a positive impression. Yet, when the interview starts, your interviewer is not prepared, looks at their phone, or asks questions that seem unrelated to the job,
It was not what you were expecting at all.
While we want all interviewers to act professionally and respectfully, that will not always happen.
So, what should you do if your interview experience is not positive?
You have options.
Signs of Poor Treatment During an Interview
Your interviewer should be on their best behavior during the interview. Through their words and actions, they should try to demonstrate that the job and organization will be a good opportunity for you. After all, interviews should always be a two-way conversation. They will be finding out about you to see if you are a fit, and you are finding out about them to see if they are a fit.
So, if you experience any of the following, take notice.
Your Time Is Not Respected: Things happen, and your interviewer may arrive late. But is it a few minutes late or 30 minutes? Is there any communication about the lateness from the organization? Has your interview been rescheduled multiple times? When you sense that there is no respect for your time, this is a problem.
Disinterest or Rudeness: An interviewer should be engaged in the conversation. Yet, many job seekers experience interviewers who do not seem to be present in the conversation. They look at their phone or computer. They are multitasking while speaking with you. Honestly, the impression is they would like to be anywhere else but talking with you. Or you can have an interviewer who is rude. An example would be making dismissive comments about your work history or achievements.
Inappropriate or Discriminatory Questions: Questions asked should always pertain to the job. Sometimes, interviewers stray into inappropriate or discriminatory questions. Examples include making comments about how attractive you are or questions that are illegal in your area or country, such as asking about martial status.
Aggressiveness: Interviewers have many different styles of conversations. Be aware of overly aggressive interviewers. Many will say that they are doing this to show the environment the person would be working in. If so, that is essential information when deciding if the job is a fit, and they should be transparent about it. For other interviewers, that is how they normally behave. So if the questions and demeanor of the interviewer are such that they are trying to intimidate you by talking over you, talking down to you, or even harshly criticizing your choices or work, be aware that this is not normal.
Unclear or Vague Communication: Sometimes, you will encounter an interviewer who cannot give you the basics about the role or has no idea about the hiring process. This can be the case when the hiring team has an ill-defined role and is trying to figure out what the position should be based on the talents of the people they interview. When a role is ill-defined, how can you determine whether you would be a fit? This can leave you feeling misled.
How to Respond To Poor Behavior During the Interview
When people experience this behavior in an interview, they are often thrown. Why is this happening? Is there something they can or should be doing? Or should they not do anything and hope for the best?
Here are some suggestions about how to handle poor behavior during an interview.
Stay Calm and Don’t Lose Your Composure: Remember, you are a professional even when other people are not acting professionally with you, That means you must remain calm and not get flustered. If your blood pressure rises, take deep breaths to calm yourself. You don’t want your emotions to take over and cause you to take any action that you might regret later,
Deflect or Ask Clarifying Questions: Take a cue from politicians. If there is a question you do not want to answer because it is not relevant to the hiring decision, you can deflect it. If someone comments about your body or face, you can respond, “So, how long have you worked here?” or something similar. Another strategy is to ask a clarifying question (e.g., “Could you clarify how that pertains to my qualifications?”).
Maintain Professional Boundaries: Sometimes, interviewers who have never had training may ask questions without understanding that they are illegal or discriminatory. Of course, if they continue to want this information, you may choose to answer it if you want to or respond that you will be declining to provide that information. You are not required to answer every interview question, especially if it goes against your values. You can simply reply, “Unfortunately, I will have to decline to answer that question.” If someone demeans you, you can say, “I understand that is your opinion, but I am proud of my achievements.”
Decide Whether to Continue the Interview: If you feel the behavior is too egregious or have decided that you are no longer interested in the role, you can end the interview. This is the nuclear option, but it may be the best in certain circumstances. You can say, “Thank you for your time today. Based on the conversation, I do not feel this role is the right fit. I wish you the best of luck in your search.”
Actions to Take After a Poor Interview Experience
You may get off the video call or leave the building after an in-person interview and think, “What just happened?” It was not as you expected and did not feel like a “good” interview. So what, if anything, should you do?
Reflect on the Experience: I am a big proponent of an interview post-mortem. What is that? It is taking a few minutes to write down everything you experience in an interview. Who was it with? How long was it? What questions were asked? How did you answer? Anything different or odd that occurred? And your general impressions. It is best to do this immediately after an interview before your memory gets fuzzy. This should be an accounting of the facts, what was said, or behaviors noticed, separate from what you felt about the situation.
Is What You Experienced A Systematic Issue or One-Off?: Do you have contacts within the organization or who knows the interviewer, and with whom do you feel comfortable discussing the behavior you experienced? This can help you determine if this was abnormal or fairly common. You can also go back to reviews on Glassdoor or other review sites to see if others have noted this behavior.
Consider Sending Feedback: Depending on what happened and how comfortable you are providing feedback, you can share what happened with the recruiter or other point of contact. You always want this communication to be professional and to provide details about the behavior. Provide facts about what happened, but it may be best to leave out your feelings. The point of this feedback is to help the organization have a better experience for future candidates. If your follow-up is focused on how you felt, remember this could be interpreted as “recollections may vary.”
Here is an example of what you might say.
Dear [Name],
I want to follow up on my interview with [Name} on [Date]. You should be aware of a few things in the interview.
[Name] started the interview 30 minutes late. Neither the interviewer nor anyone else in the organization communicated that the interview would be delayed.
During the interview, [Name] checked his phone three times. He also appeared to text someone. Toward the end of the interview, as I was answering a question, he seemed to be reading something on his desk,
[Name] asked me how many children I had and their ages. Knowing this was a question that is illegal to ask, I responded that since this question was not work-related, I would decline to answer it,
I thought you would want to know about my experience so that you would be aware of any changes that need to be made.
I continue to be interested in the role and bring many accomplishments that I am sure to replicate for the team [or you are no longer interested in the role and removing yourself from consideration].
Sincerely,
[Name]
Decide If You Want to Continue: It is okay to decide that after this experience, the role/organization is not a good fit. This will be a personal choice based upon many factors, including your values and how much you need this job. If you decide that you do not want to move forward in the process, let your point of contact know. If the interviewer acted poorly, they may have already signaled to the team that they believed you were not a good choice and a rejection would be coming your way anyway. Still, you can put it on the record that you are withdrawing from consideration. If you send an email, it will often be included with your ATS record.
Protecting Your Well-Being and Self-Worth
It is tough to go through this experience. It is uncomfortable and can make you feel like something is wrong with you. So here are some suggestions on how to process this experience.
Don’t Take It Personally: This is easier to say since it happened to you, but the best thing to do is remind yourself that this is about the other person. It was not your behavior but their behavior that was the problem and was unprofessional. That the organization would allow someone to do interviews where this behavior was deemed okay says a lot about the organization.
Reconnect with Your Support System: It might be good to talk about this with someone in your support system. This could be a coach, colleague, friend, or family. Discuss what happened to get their opinion about what you experienced. They may provide some perspective and support you in whatever decision you make as a result of your experience.
Focus on Your Next Steps: No matter if you have had a good or bad interview, your next step should always be to move forward with your job search. Don’t stop looking for opportunities and pushing forward. What is going on within any organization is very opaque, and you never know what is happening behind the scenes. The best thing you can do is control what you can control. That is continuing with your job search.
Being Treated Poorly In An Interview Can Happen
While most of my interview experiences have been positive, I remember one early in my career where it seemed the interviewer did not want to be there. The interviewer was not friendly and seemed distracted. This opportunity was something I felt would be a great fit, so this experience was disappointing. I remember going back to my car and crying.
Knowing what I know now, I would have reacted very differently. I would not have given that interviewer the power to make me cry. This behavior was on him, not me. He was the one acting unprofessionally, and his behavior told me that this was not the right place for me.
Shelley Piedmont is a Career Coach who focuses on understanding your unique skills, interests, and aspirations and provides personalized coaching to guide you toward roles where you can truly thrive. Whether you are stuck as to what your next career move should be or need help with resumes, LinkedIn profiles, or interview preparation, Shelley is here to help you. Please set up an exploratory call to find out how she can help you reach your career goals.